What Makes You Attracted To Someone?

The pull of attraction for those who experience it can seem intense and enigmatic, but scientific studies have shed light on how it functions. The sense of being drawn to someone encompasses your physiological senses, hormones, nerves, and even your immune response. It could be ignited by a myriad of signals, ranging from the contours of someone's face to their unique scent. Continue reading for a more comprehensive understanding of what science reveals about the elements that may unite two individuals who experience romantic and/or sexual attraction.

Let's begin by examining what exactly occurs in your body when you first feel attracted to someone else. The primary thrill appears to be the result of a complex interplay between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Your heart racing and pulse quickening when you gaze at someone you're drawn to is caused by the sympathetic system, which is responsible for the "fight-or-flight" response.

Studies show that a balanced level of sympathetic nervous system activity could be crucial in the early stages of arousal, though levels that are too high or too low might stifle desire. This could account for the thrill of watching a horror film knowing one's safety is guaranteed, or how heart-pounding activities can amplify emotions of attraction. Conversely, the parasympathetic system corresponds more with relaxation and enjoyment. It plays a vital role in physical transformations during sexual activities, including genital engorgement and the release of sexual fluids.

The initial phases of arousal typically result in accelerated blood flow and expanded pupils. This might also enhance your skin's conductivity, possibly explaining the electrifying sensation often associated with attraction. As two individuals grow closer and their intimacy intensifies, the dopamine-driven connections in their brains may become increasingly active. These neurological structures are tied to rewards, the development of habits, and possibly addiction, giving rise to the compulsive thoughts and ecstatic feelings often experienced by individuals in the throes of falling in love when they are around their romantic partners.

There has been a substantial amount of study conducted on why certain individuals are more enticing to people than others. Despite the fact that there is still a lot more to uncover, you can continue reading for a comprehensive summary of some crucial findings in this field.

The Impact of Instantaneous First Impressions

Most of us have seen movies or cartoons where a character lays eyes on a person they find attractive, and their jaw drops in shock. While it may not happen exactly like that in real life, research has shown that our brains do make quick assessments about who we deem attractive.

A study carried out at Trinity College in Dublin revealed that when participants were shown quick glimpses of individuals they might date and later met these individuals during a speed-dating event, their immediate judgments based on the brief view of their images were effective in predicting who they would subsequently connect with during conversation.

Brain imaging identified two key regions for determining attractiveness. The paracingulate cortex, a structure that contributes to social assessment, tended to show activity when participants viewed images of individuals deemed attractive by the majority. The rostromedial prefrontal cortex was another region that lit up more when individuals viewed images that weren't commonly considered attractive but caught a specific viewer's attention.

Eye contact plays a significant role in both initiating and deepening attraction between individuals. A brief look at another's face can ignite attraction, whereas lasting eye contact may create a sense of intimacy and openness, vital in building relationships. According to two studies carried out in the 1980s, people who shared a two-minute unbroken gaze with someone they'd just met, expressed a "greater liking" for them compared to other participants. Furthermore, the second study revealed that established romantic couples who shared the same experience exhibited a notable rise in passionate love, inherent love, and a fondness towards their partners.

In a similar research project, Arthur Aron, a noted scientist, devised a set of 36 questions that progressively increased in intimacy. These questions were intended to be asked between two unknown individuals to create a feeling of familiarity and connection, followed by a sustained eye-lock of four minutes. The aim of his experiment was to devise a method to establish an intimacy level that could make strangers fall in love with each other. The primary investigation resulted in participants leaving with enhanced positive feelings towards one another and even led to the marriage of one pair who notably participated in the study.

The contribution of aromas to the science of attraction seems to be an important aspect, apart from just physical appeal. Studies indicate that, contrary to the long-standing belief that the olfactory sense in humans is inferior to other animals, pheromones may significantly impact human behavior and reproduction. Pheromones are chemicals naturally released by humans, which may function as a form of "smell-communicating" system, particularly relevant to attraction.

In certain studies, androstadienone, an element found in male perspiration, appeared to enhance the emotional disposition, concentration, and sexual interest of heterosexual women. At the same time, copulins, substances present in female vaginal fluids, seem to spark greater evaluations of female appeal from heterosexual men. Furthermore, these copulins caused men to perceive themselves as more alluring to women, which implies they could serve as boosters of self-esteem.

The immune system may have a role in scent-based attraction, according to some research. These studies suggest that straight women may feel more attracted to the body smell of men who possess different types of genes for particular immune cells than they do. This behavior could have an evolutionary benefit, as children with a broader immune system diversity might be more capable of warding off a wider range of diseases.

From an evolutionary standpoint, the main purpose of sexual behavior is indeed to reproduce. This could explain why research has discovered that individuals of various genders find female faces more appealing when they are in their ovulation period. It seems there are slight changes in the way women look during this phase of their menstrual cycle that can even be identified in pictures. Another study showed a comparable impact on body scent, with males favoring the aroma of women’s attire during their most fertile period. Moreover, even the voices of women might change during ovulation, becoming more appealing to straight men.

Experiments indicate that a woman’s preferences for masculine facial features and corresponding body fragrances may fluctuate with her biological cycle. Straight women may feel increased attraction towards men with symmetrical faces and masculine appearances during the height of their fertility period. However, these leanings seem to be most pronounced when deliberating potential short-term partners, with the effects of fertility seemingly having no impact on the perception of prospective long-term partners.

Can menstrual cycle influence the way attractiveness is perceived and does the use of birth control pills have a similar effect? Certain evidence points towards the potential of hormonal birth control to alter a person's choice of romantic partners by modifying the body chemistry related to ovulation and menstruation. The supporting scientific evidence for this topic consists of:

Impact on choice of facial features: Research involving 170 heterosexual couples revealed that females using contraceptive pills tended to choose partners with less distinctively masculine facial features.

Impact on preference for body scent: Other studies have indicated that the preference of heterosexual women for male body odor is influenced by their use of hormonal contraceptives.

Impact on sexual fulfillment: There is also evidence to suggest that alterations in birth control pill usage during a relationship might make some women feel less sexually fulfilled and less attracted to their existing partner.

Assistance in Your Love Life 
If you're experiencing difficulties in your dating or romantic life, it might be useful to seek expert advice. A lot of people find it beneficial to consult a therapist to delve into the patterns of attraction, navigate feelings towards a significant other, and build helpful relationship and dating abilities such as defining boundaries and resolving clashes. Specifically, a cognitive behavioral therapist can help you identify any misconceptions you might have about your own desirability or ability to build relationships and guide you towards a more positive perspective for improved possible results.

If the idea of engaging with a professional in person to discuss your love life looks uncomfortable or daunting, you could think about exploring support online. Virtual therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp, allow you to connect with a certified professional to converse over the phone, video chat or through in-app messaging, all from your own home. A detailed review of previous studies involving more than 10,000 participants found that online counseling was just as effective as face-to-face sessions, reassuring you that either option you go for is valid.

What it’s all about

The factors contributing to romantic and sexual interest can be innumerable and nuanced, ranging from the tone of someone's voice to their immune system composition. Although the initial attraction can occur in mere seconds, fostering a deep connection and compatibility requires a longer period.